Thursday, 26 July 2007

i'm back!

just now on the train back home...
yi ling and li tingwere like saying
that i've been more cheerful and guai recently.
reason: (we know, dont tell you).

come to think about it,
the old trixy that loves to laugh,
loves to smile is coming back.
that girl who just lives happily,
not being hurt by anythings.

like dear said before,
her impression of trixy
after knowing me for like...
12 years?
trixy is a girl who loves to laugh.

and yes.
i love to laugh.

i'm a person that just wants to live life to its best,
just have fun,
enjoy my days on this planet earth.

but then,
that trixy somehow slowly disappeared a couple of years back.
i may still be smiling,
seems like a happy person,
but deep down,
there's always something for me to be sad,
unhappy about.

scary even,
sometimes i just laugh for laughing
and may not even really feel that
that something we're talking about or what
something that i would really laugh to my fullest.

even my sis may not know,
cause in front of her,
i'm always that tweet
that does not seem to be worried about things,
affected by things and stuff.
but ya...
i really hide things to myself only.
i hide alot of things.

it's just like a few years back,
i do not feel that anyone around me really loves me.
i kept it to myself,
i spent my holidays at home only,
i started listening to rock,
really loner.
felt that no one needs me...
my mom...
my dad remarried,
my sis having a bf...
it's like everyone's leaving me or something...
only after sometimes i let it out,
let my family know.
i really got to know that they love me.

just trying to say,
i really hide things,
keep things to myself alot.
especially when it comes to my emotions.

and ya...
i can really feel that
the trixy now is really loving herself more
loving others
and definetly opening up
not keeping that much things to herself anymore.

the wounds on my heart are healing now...
the old trixy is awaking...
the old happy cheerful trixy
coming back in action.

please dont take this trixy away.

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