Hi! I'm Back!

Hi everyone!

It's been a long time since I last talked to everyone here.

The reason being, I was not able to retrieve my own blog.

Funny huh?

Although I did backup my blog and actually tried to shift my blog to WordPress, I must say it just doesn't feel right.

So yup! I finally managed to retrieve my own blog after abandoning it for years.

Even the last post in 2018 was posted through email, and not actually logging into my account to post it.

The first thing I did after being able to get in, I went straight to the comments.

Even though I was not able to get into my account, I did get email notifications that I have new comments left on my blog posts from time to time.

Though many of them were questions regarding the April Skin Hair Bleach, many of them are also very heartwarming and consoling messages on my super emo post that was posted in 2018.

Thank you to everyone who left those messages. Even though I am only reading them now, 3 years later, they still do mean something very important to me.

I can say although, with the whole covid situation, life isn't the best it sure is a lot better than then. 

Although I don't have a lot of interesting things to share nowadays, I guess I will still be posting from time to time.

Thank you very much.

Take care and stay safe.

Love always, Tsuriki.

Hi...

Dear blog, 

It’s been a long time since I last wrote on entry. 

I wonder how many of you out there are still reading my blog. 

If you realised, I started this post with “Dear blog” instead of the usual “Hi everyone”. 

Well, this post is mostly just to express my emotions and it may even get really negative and sad so... if you are looking for something to read leisurely, I guess this is not a post that you will wanna read. 

My blog has always been a place for me to be able to express my emotions since the age of 15 which is already 14 years ago. 

Since young, I have never really had anyone to talk to especially in my family that whatever you say is just wrong because my mom will always say “I am your mother.” 

I was never able to express what I feel freely. 

My mom just shuts me up with that sentence every time I try to speak my mind. 

My dad and mom got divorced when I was 8 so I practically grew up without a father till my teens days. 

My sis and I were not closed till my parents got separated. But due to our age gap and school and stuff, we didn’t get to have much time together. 

Slowly, I began to talk lesser at home. 

My friends in school didn’t feel any difference cos I’m like a total person when I’m out. I could talk freely without worrying that anyone is going to shut me up. 

But there’s this emptiness that has always been there just that I was too young to know what is it. 

When I was 12(I think), my mom got a dog. His name was Lamb. I slowly began looking forward to going home to see his cute face welcoming me home every single day. 

Well, I did look forward to going home even before that of course. But not to a living thing. Like every kid, I was looking forward to my favourite cartoon and programs on TV. Not so much of a human or living thing. 

I do enjoy my sister’s company but she’s rarely at home when I get home cos she’s always in school with activities or church events and etc. 

Now that I think of it, I was so looking forward to seeing Lamb because I know that he was looking forward to me coming home, too. 

I share with him everything. Things that made me happy, made me sad... 

And you know, there is stuff that you can share with your dog and not your sister no matter how close you guys are. 

But a year or 2 later, my mom decided to send Lamb away. 

She sent him away a couple of times but because I just couldn’t bear to let him go, we took him back a few times. Until one day, like always, she shut me up, again. 

By then, I was in Secondary school. 

I was glad to be able to make a few really good friends and one is actually my best friend even till now although she does not live in Singapore at the moment we still keep each other in our hearts at all times. Li Jin. 

Slowly, life was not that difficult without Lamb waiting for me at home cos I started staying out later, and later that the times at home doesn’t really matter anymore. 

I also started to do things alone more and more. Thinking that being all alone is fine, too, as long as I tell myself that. 

I went to the movies alone, even on my birthday. I went shopping alone. 

All these when I was just 14. 

When I was 15, because of everyone being separated into different classes in Secondary 3, I felt my first betrayal in life. 

My once-a-friend was so close so dear to me in Sec 1 and 2 but she just turned her back at us because we are “not the same level” anymore. 

Why? Well, she got into the 2nd smartest class, Pure Science class, whereas the rest of us got into the 3rd and 4th class, sub Science class. 

Seriously? 

To be honest, I haven’t been able to hold a proper conversation with anyone in English before I got to know that once-a-friend cos I was just too afraid. 

She was the first person. 

Not even my very own sister. 

I guess all I could say is that my faith in humans got lesser through this episode.

People come and go. You never know who is gonna leave next.

Then soon, my sister had a boyfriend which is now my brother-in-law. 

It may seem very dumb very stupid of me to feel sad but I just felt like the only person in the family I’m closest to was being snatched away and I am left with no one. 

I remember it was year-end during our long year-end holidays which lasted for about almost 2 months. 

I was so sad, that I spent my entire holidays in my own room except for 1 or 2 days when we had school activities. 

No one actually realised that I “disappeared” for that 2 months. 

Not even my mom nor my sis. 

I was so sad and felt that no one loves me at all. 

I was so sad that I called my dad and asked him if he actually loves me. 

I remember my dad telling me over the phone that he loves me. But soon after hanging up my call, he called my mom (which he never talks to directly ever since I was 8) and scolded her. Asking her why would I feel that no one loves me. 

Soon, I got scolded by my mom. 

In this family, ever since I could remember, I only remember being scolded. Is as if scolding is loving. I know there is the Chinese saying 打是疼，骂是爱 (hitting is caring, scolding is loving), but all I wanted in life is a hug. 

And ever since Lamb left, no one ever gave me a hug. After secondary school, the guy I liked for 4 years finally liked me back and we got together, I think. I tried so hard. I did so much. But all I got, in the end, is that I “deserve better” from the guy’s mouth. 

I thought I was being strong when I broke up with him. 

But thinking back, I think I was being a coward and just ran away. 

After that, I got to know my next boyfriend which is currently my husband. 

I finally felt like I was important to someone, again. 

I finally have someone to hug. 

Someone to love. 

Someone I could say “he loves me”. 

Although we went through many ups and downs, we still managed to be together. 

But now... I really don’t know. 

Many people have been telling me I “deserve better”. 

But this phrase coming out of my own husband’s mouth... 

I really don’t know what to think anymore... 

I really have no idea what is there for me to fight for anymore... 

I used to try not to post anything sad or negative online, on my blog, on my Facebook, Instagram, etc cos I always want to help people feel better about themselves and be positive but I guess now I can’t even do that to myself anymore... 

Have you ever felt that your heart is just in constant pain? 

For 2 weeks? 

Have you ever felt emotionally tired? 

For years? 

Have you ever felt unloved?

For your whole life? 

What’s the point of going “home” when no one is waiting for you, looking forward to you coming back? 

Where is “home” when everywhere is just houses but with no warmth. 

Where can I even call “home”? 

My best friend Gerry told me to be kind to myself. 

But how? 

I tried telling myself things will get better. But it didn’t.

I tried telling myself to try harder. But it just made me feel like I am being pushed away even further. 

I have been questioning myself, why am I still on this earth. 

All the answers I came up with were all for others but none of them were for myself. \

So... why am I still here?

#TsurikiReviews : April Skin Turn-Up Bleach

Hihi everyone!

If you have been reading my blog or following my Instagram long enough, you would realise that I love changing my hair colour.

And ever since 2-3 years back, after not being sponsored by any hair salons, I have been mostly doing my own hair colour by myself.

And sometimes, helping my friends' with theirs, too.

One main thing about being able to achieve the ideal hair colour has got to be the bleach you use to clean of your natural hair colour before putting on other funky colours.

All these while, I have been using this brand called Beauteen under Hoyu which I get off-shelves in Japan. 

Singapore stopped bringing in Beauteen for quite some time I realised...

I usually use their bleach and some times their colour dye, too, as they are really affordable and gives great results as compared to many other drugstore brands you can find in the market. 

But I decided to give Korean drugstore brands a try this time!

Many people have been talking about Aprilskin's Turn-Up Color Treatment recently so I went online to check on it.

I ordered them through Qoo10 which was $18.90SGD for 6 packets of bleach.

Which is about $3.15SGD per bleach before shipping. 

If you are interested, this is where I got my bleach from: 

http://www.qoo10.sg/su/412921025/Q101068860?inflow_referer=http%3A%2F%2Fqoo10sg

I got only their bleach this time and not their color treatment as I estimated the amount of "dye" I need for the hair colour I wanna go for... It seemed that I will need quite a few tubes to be able to mix them to achieve the colour I want. On top of that, I'm not too sure if that amount will be enough for my hair, too.

Each packet of bleach comes with one packet of bleach powder and one packet of creme activator.

Make sure to mix the mixture really really well before application. 

If you are worried about the very strong bleach smell, I must say that this is one of the least stinging bleach I've come across till date.

For my medium-long hair, I used ONE packet to highlight the lower half of my hair first.

I then bleach almost all of my hair, again, with TWO packets of bleach. This 2 packets were more than enough for just the lower half of my hair.

However, 1 packet alone was not enough. 

So if you have medium-long hair like me and going for a ombre hair for about half your hair length, 3 packets should be able to get job done for a 2 times bleach. 

This is how my hair turned out after bleaching.

(The photo above was taken under warm light thus a little more yellowish than seen by the naked eyes)

From left to right, light to dark:

Bleached 2X, bleached 1X, dyed dark brown 4 months ago. 

As you can see, the hair isn't that much damaged. 

Ignoring that fact that this photo was not in focus, just focus on the colour of my hair! 

The areas that was bleach twice was really quite close to white which was not I expected from drugstore brand's bleach for sure.

And like mentioned, my hair isn't that damaged even which is really a pleasant surprise.

Considering that this bleach seriously isn't that expensive but in fact really cheap, I was not expecting it to produce such good results!

So if you ask me if I will repurchase it?

Oh YES! Sure thing!

Its results is amazing and super affordable!

Plus it comes in small packeta of small amount which is good if you are gonna highlight then bleach your hair, again, while you need to work in small portions. This is perfect!

The only cons I can find fault with this bleach is that it does not come with any pH balance serum for your hair after bleaching like other Japaneae brands that I've tried before but as it is this less damaging to your hair, I think without that serum seriously wouldn't make much of a difference. 

Ok! That's all for this post!

If you have any questions, do feel free to leave me a comment and I wil reply and hope to help you solve your questions and doubts!

See you in my next post! Till then, stay warm from the crazy weather!

Xoxo, Tsuriki.

#TsurikiEats : Gudetama Cafe Osaka

Hihi everyone!

During my Japan vacation last Autumn, I went to the Gudetama Cafe in Osaka with my friends!

We didn't order that much stuff as we wanted to have other local food for dinner so... I guess you could say we went to the cafe for "tea"? 

Here's all the stuff we ordered that afternoon!

We each got a hot drink just to have a Gudetama on our drink. 

I remembered ordering カフェーオレ which is some what like a latte and my friends got hot cocoa.

Carbonara Pasta which I suppose should taste not bad but after all the photo taking, the sauce kinda got soaked up too much. 

A parfait which was seriously filling! 

Crepe, pudding, ice cream, cake...

That's a lot of stuff in one small parfait!

Address: HEP FIVE

Japan, 530- 0017 Osaka Prefecture

Osaka, Kita Ward, Kakudacho, 5-15

If I did not remember wrongly, it should be on the 7th Floor of the shopping centre. 

So if you like Gudetama as much as I do and are going to Osaka, why not drop by for a meal or tea? 

The whole place was just so so so cute! 

Okay! That's all for this post!!

I'm gonna go lie down in bed and hide under my blanket!

Till the next post, have a good lazy rest everyone!

Xoxo, Tsuriki.

#TsurikiReviews : Kat Von D Tattoo Liner

Hi everyone!

I wonder how many of you are still reading my blog.

If you are reading this, thank you so much for still remembering me and reading my blog!

Today I'll be reviewing the Tattoo Liner of Kat Von D which many people raved about.

Retail Price: USD $20 / SGD $32 

I got mine a few months back and have been using it since.

I like that the tip is pretty sharp and the ink is pretty black. Although the tip is sharp, it isn't too fine that I need to go over my eyeliner a few times to achieve a nice wing. 

If you are looking for an eyeliner with super fine tip for the natural look, this may not be what you are looking for.

This eyeliner is pretty rub-proof which is good if you have a habit of rubbing your eyes which you shouldn't be doing (like me, guilty).

It states that this eyeliner is smudge-proof but I seriously do not feel so.

I have pretty oily eyelids and wearing this eyeliner for the past few months hace been giving me panda eyes all the time.

To be honest, for something that costs this much, I expected it to be better.

You may ask me, why do I still use it then?

Well... I just don't wanna waste the money spent alright.

If you ask me, will I repurchase it?

The answer will be a No.

Ok. That's all for this short review. 

Hope that it will be helpful to anyone of you reading this!

Bye bye everyone!

Crow’s feet no more with Botox at Ardmore Aesthetic ClinicSmile with confidence with Dr. Rachel Lim at Ardmore Aesthetic Clinic

Hihi everyone! So in the previous post, we covered on my Jaw Slimming .

Today, let’s talk about me crow’s feet reduction procedure using Botulinum Toxin with Botox at Ardmore Aesthetic Clinic .

To be honest, I hated my crow’s feet for years. To be exact, it’s 12 years.

I remember once in my Secondary School days, one day, a girl said pretty loudly that guys will not like me because of my crow’s feet and that I look super old with them. So these (hopefully) unintentional words of hers affected me deeply and I have been very conscious of how I smile whenever I am to take photo. I tend to not smile or laugh that big as the crow’s feet around my eyes will then appear.

Logically, I know that it’s normal.

Emotionally, I hate it.

Therefore, I decided to get Crow’s feet reduction done!

I got Botulinum Toxin with BOTOX for my crow’s feet reduction which is injected into the muscles to relax the muscles around the sides of my eyes that caused crow’s feet to form. After the muscles are relaxed, crow’s feet will be reduced!

Seriously, how awesome is this world now.

With Botox, everyone can look younger!

Now, let’s get to the treatment itself!

First, let’s apply some numbing cream on the areas where the injections will be done later on.

The numbing cream was left on for about 20mins before I go to another room where I will get my crow’s feet reduction procedure.

Next, Dr. Rachel Lim then made some markings for where she would be injecting the botox later on.

And it’s time for the real thing itself!

To be honest, I didn’t really feel much, even pain, during the injection.

I must say that the injection for Crow’s feet reduction is really nothing. I just kept my eyes closed and before I knew it, it was all over!

All done!

And Dr. Rachel Lim is not only very skillful but also very friendly and nice, too!

Throughout the injections, she kept telling me what’s going on and what’s the progress like so you are very well informed and aware of what’s going on which I feel is very important especially for someone like me who was getting my first botox done.

You don’t have to worry much. Just leave it to the pro.

Now after getting my crow’s feet reduction done after about a month, the results are still amazing and I no longer have to worry whenever I take photo!

I can smile as big as I want without ugly crow’s feet beside my eyes!

Thank you Dr. Rachel Lim! I know I was in very good hands!

If you wanna know more, feel free to call Ardmore Aesthetic Clinic for more info and get your consultation done! It’s still best to go down yourself to get consultation done in person I feel.

Ardmore Aesthetic Clinic

Address: 06-01A International Building, 360 Orchard Rd, 238869

For enquiry or appointment: Call 6734 6531 or SMS/Whatsapp 9029 3179

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ardmoreaesthetic/

Smiling wide,

Tsuriki.

Slimmer Jaw with Dysport at Ardmore Aesthetic Clinic by Dr. Rachel Lim

Hi everyone!

Remember my previous post on my consultation for Jaw Slimming and Crow’s Feet Reduction?

Today, let’s cover my jaw slimming at Ardmore Aesthetic Clinic!

Many of my friends actually asked me why I wanna get Botox for my jaw.

Well, who wouldn’t like to have a slimmer face?

To be honest, I did consider getting jaw slimming years ago but I was not able to afford it then. Thus, the thought was not put to action.

So after much discussion with Dr. Rachel Lim, we decided to use Dysport (a brand for botox)for my Jaw Slimming.

If you are not familiar with botulinum toxin, known as botox to many, it’s a drug made from a neurotoxin produced by the bacterium Clostridium botulinum called botulinum toxin. It is used medically to treat certain muscular conditions and cosmetically remove wrinkles by temporarily paralyzing muscles.

So when botox is used on your jaw muscles, it basically relaxes the “muscular” muscles around your jaw which is what caused your jaw to appear bigger.

It is unavoidable to work these muscles because we need to eat, right?

And if you are someone like me who love chewy food like gummy and stuff, you tend to work these muscles even more.

So by using botulinum toxin injection , it will relax these muscles which your jaw will then be slimmer thus achieving a more V-shaped looking face!

Ok. Time for the real thing, treatment!

But first! Let’s apply some numbing cream!

I personally am not afraid of getting injections but for people who are, I feel that the numbing cream really helps!

So after applying the numbing cream and leaving it on for about 20mins, Dr. Rachel Lim assessed my face once more before the injection itself.

And yup! It’s time for the real work!

I did not feel much pain. Like mentioned earlier, the numbing cream really helps a lot.

I wouldn’t say that it was painful but rather just a little soreness instead.

Dr. Rachel Lim kept me aware of what’s going on, e.g. when she’s going to start injection and when she’s halfway done with one side and the other.

She sure made me feel very safe and know that I’m in very good hands.

I must say that I’m quite surprised that with my thin, fair skin, there wasn’t any redness after the injection!

Goes to show how skillful Dr. Rachel Lim is, too!

It’s been almost a month since I did my Jaw Slimming and I must say that I can see my jaw getting slimmer slowly day by day!

And hey, do you remember that I mentioned in my previous post that I hated my crow’s feet?

Stay tuned for my next post on my Crow’s Feet Reduction at Ardmore Aesthetic Clinic!

Ardmore Aesthetic Clinic

Address: 06-01A International Building, 360 Orchard Rd, 238869 Contact number: 6734 6531

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ardmoreaesthetic/

Signing off, Tsuriki.